How do you save just one?

I was looking on Reece's rainbow last night and thinking the need is so great for adoptive parents.  How and why are their so many orphans in the world?  Reece's Rainbow just holds a very SMALL selection of kids with disabilities and there are even more out their that don't have disabilities.  I get so overwhelmed...even if you try to limit it, it is hard to chose 1 child and leave another.  I suppose that is why there are so many families adopting multiple children at once.  Tom, the other american that is visiting right now is adopting 3 from Pleven.  (We have enjoyed getting to know his boys during our visits with Sam.)

I left the orphanage today in tears.  I was able to quickly stuff them down, as I am good at that, but I can tell even if I try to hold it together I am breaking inside.  Why is it like this?  How can this be happening? What can anyone do?  My co-worker has reminded me multiple times that the Lord is so much bigger than even this life...and there is a hope beyond.  So that perhaps if a child here on earth has a life short and sad in an orphanage that in heaven, in the world beyond they will be healed, restored and loved.  Man, do I hope they don't remember it here on earth once they are there.

Part of me wants to just go into the places I am not supposed to be.  Because in reality I don't really know if the higher ups are even around enough to stop me.  During our afternoon visits there are only Babas around.  But Grace is concerned that they will do something to Sam if we don't respect their boundaries.  I was so hopeful that I would be able to touch and love as many kids as I could but I can't.  All this to say, I hope that I am doing as much as I can.  I just can't help but feeling like it is not enough but that enough could never be done!  I think if 30 americans with hearts for children could move over here and somehow get jobs in the orphanage that COULD be a start.  But what really has to happen here is a culture change, a shift in how children are seen and treated, and that is why you just need people on the staff with a different heart.  The Babas are great at getting the kids out of their cribs for a time but I don't think that they really know how to fully engage this kids.  We hear word of kids taking classes, and I wonder what kind of professionals teach these classes?  There is definitely a need there.  There is a need for rehab here, for physical therapy for pretty much each kid.  And really above all else someone needs to come in and take over the menus and the food.  Okay so we need way more than just 30 Americans....we need way more than money to buy diapers and formula (especially if they don't take it GRRRRR)  I just have to remind myself that SOME kids are being rescued.

okay I am going to stop with that...and just add some cute pictures...these are some kids that are being rescued:

tom's boys from left jacob(7), Moses (7) and Noah (9)

sam in front

jacob (7) and Moses (7)

sam age 7