Wednesday, September 25, 2013

The Healing.

Last Friday we went to the eye doctor, we were eager to see what he thought of the cataract surgery he had had on his left eye and find out if he would operate on what we assumed was a cataract on the right eye.  Well, it turns out that there isn;t a cataract in his right eye...but it isn't working right.  The doctor wasn't able to see into that eye to even figure out what was going on because it would not dialate, since the pupil was stuck to the lens....OUCH.

Then things took a rough turn as the eye doctor sort of danced out of his area and into predictions about Simons overall development.  He also conjectured that there could be a "tumor" behind his eye???? WHAT???  He then said we might want to get a scan of his brain to find out if something was going on there...but we don't really need to bother since "Simon is 9 and probably won't develop any further at this point".  So according to him, there is no rush to get it checked out, Simon can't see out of that eye and probably never will....

This wasn't the news we were hoping to get that day.  It sort of sent us into a bad way.  Then to add insult to injury I opened the mail to find that our insurance was denied....  I ended up driving around listening to this song on repeat.  http://youtu.be/CS-hB6WMQMY  (I am not a fan of this video...but it is the only way I could give you the song:))  It really does help to be surrounded by friends during this time, thank you everyone, online and in person who have encouraged us as we struggle through this first stage of life after bringing Simon home!!!  

"You and I, we've come so far, we've come so far, we can never look back"





It helped.  It also helped to realize how much I am like the Isrealities in the wilderness.  After watching God part the red sea to give me this child, raising his $30,000 ransom, somehow I seem to think he is going to let us starve out here in the wilderness and doubt that he will pay for Simon's medical treatment.  Sad, sad, sad.  HOWEVER, I am trying to not be so hard on myself.  I was verbally berating myself during a 2 hour feeding, the other day and my neighbor had to say to me, "you are doing a good job, you haven't stuck a tube in him yet!"  It helped so much that she stopped by to say it again to me a bit later.  (we are spending many hours trying to get his kid to eat, I have been fighting a tube since before he came home...after a month, I had started to doubt myself....and I suppose, doubt God)

So in the fashion of this whole adoption, I realized I was being silly and full of doubt and reacting terribly, and so this week God has answered our prayers and brought us PEACE!  The insurance thing seems to be panning out, and Simon has GAINED WEIGHT!!!!!!!!  Today he weighed in at 23 pounds and 12 ounces.  This is up from the 21 pounds he was when we picked him up!!  His cough is finally gone and he is eating better again!  And I am left feeling like a silly little child who pulled a tantrum and then got my way...perhaps it is a little different when what you want so badly is something God wants too???  I am still trying to figure that whole thing out. 

Things have been going better with Ishmael as well.  He has been trying to give Simon all kinds of things, including his PRIZED binkie!  Simon is now sleeping in Ishmael's room and in the morning Ishmael puts all his stuffed animals into Simon's bed and hangs out in there with Simon.  I know this because we bought  a video monitor and we have been able to use that to make sure that Simon is sleeping and not stemming in his bed.  This led us to start using Melatonin to help Simon get to go to sleep. (he was spending 2-3 hours a night stemming before falling asleep)  So now he is going to sleep but he still wakes up, now I am looking into a weighted blanket to help keep him asleep, for now I am using an old army wool blanket.



Well, I have much more to say but I am very tired. Thank you all again for being a part of our journey. It gives me great joy that even in the midst of a long day, I can look around or look online and find people who are helping me along, helping our family heal and showing my son the love and acceptance he needs to grow!                                                                                                                            


                                                                                                                                                                            


10 comments:

  1. You are doing SUCH a good job, Anna. When you're in the thick of it I'm sure its easy to wonder...but you're awesome. Keep up the good work, Simon's mama!

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  2. This boy is a miracle and you just file away that doctor's comment.... you'll pull it out sometime in the future and chuckle at how short-sighted he was. Anyone who looked at his profile picture and then looked at him now who know he is not standing still! I could fall into those eyes that were once so dead and now are so alive! You're doing good and so is he.

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  3. Love one another and thank God for every day you have together.

    You may be short on money but you're a billionaire in love and that's worth a whole lot more. :)

    God bless all of you!

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  4. Thinking and praying for you guys!

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  5. Anna, the look in that child's eyes says he knows he is loved. There is such a world of difference in the pictures from the start of this journey to now.You and John are doing an amazing job. It is easy to forget that God has got this. My experience has been when I remember to seek God BEFORE I try to solve problems there is a peace that comes. Hang in there...God did not bring you here to let you fail. If there is anything Rob and I can do for you let us know. I don't want to intrude but I do want to be of assistance if you need anything. Love you guys

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  6. I forgot to put this in my facebook message to you, but it looks like he's also getting some meat on those arms and legs since I saw him last! Keep it up Mama! You're doing a great job

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  7. He is looking SO GOOD. You all are doing a great job caring for him & you can tell by that smile that he appreciates it!

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  8. (((((Hugs))))) to you, Anna.
    How does that saying go? 'Having a child is like having your heart out walking around outside your body!' It is every bit as true to me now, as it was11 years ago, when we brought our first child home.Although our situation was different, I've been through the 2+-hour-per-meal feedings, the insurance worries, the inappropriate remarks from professionals. Not fun. It's okay to grieve, but then look at your sweet, adorable little boy and know that just having him in your family makes everything 'okay'. You are such a good mom. It is so heart-warming to see Simon growing and enjoying life! Wishing you many blessings!

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  9. He's such a beautiful boy!
    Let me share with you that when we adopted our daughter with Down Syndrome at birth and brought her home- EVERY Dr. asked us "Who let you adopt a child like this?" You see she wasn't healthy enough to live a long life, she was born without nasal passages, she had 3 surgeries on it, each time almost dying. The 4th surgery at 5 months old Jesus did take her home. And EVERY Dr shook his head as if to say "Why would they let you adopt a child like this?"
    We LOVED her for 5 months with every ounce of our being. At her funeral her birth parents flew to MN from AZ to be with us.
    Can anyone say her life was not worth living?
    When we went to Dr appts. people would actually move away from us! She snorted like a little piglet when she breathed. :o) I'm glad she had no idea that so many were repulsed by her.
    Her name was Joy Elizabeth. Her birth mother and I share the name Elizabeth.
    God used her life to teach me things I could not have learned without her.
    I miss her every day~ but I thank God that I'll see her again.
    Hold tight to Simon! Your all he has here. All you need to do is believe in him. And never underestimate the healing powers of God! Simon is created fearfully and wonderfully!
    I have spent hours feeding Mosie too- and after 1 year he finally eats willingly! We even had to hold his hands and face. It sounds mean but I talked with love as I fed him, letting him know we loved him too much not to feed him.
    (((HUGS))) and many prayers!
    You are doing fantastic!

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  10. I am thankful to hear that Ishmael is adjusting!

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