The pregnancy perspective

I was talking with a co-worker today about her pregnant belly and I was thinking about the different stages of pregnancy.  I am not going to get scientific here I am just going to talk about what you can and can't see.  There is a point in a woman's pregnancy when she decides to tell the world she is pregnant.  Most women don't wait until people can see it for themselves.  However many women who are concerned about miscarriage will wait until a "safe" zone of pregnancy is passed.  I myself did this when I was pregnant with my son.  I didn't want to have to tell everyone later if I lost him.  I didn't think I could handle that emotionally.  I also know women who have struggled with infertility.  And a woman who is struggling in that area is also not going to announce to the world that she is trying to get pregnant.  Why?  Well the reason is kind of the same.  Because you don't want to end up in a situation when people are asking you repeatedly about something that is already hurting you deeply.

My husband and I have kind of been feeling that way about the adoption process.  We aren't sure when we are supposed to tell people we are adopting.  What if we tell people we are and then we fail the home study and in essence, "lose our baby"?  But international adoption is a different beast because you are hoping people will help you raise support for your adoption. This has been tricky for us too.  We both feel that in order to ask for support we should know who it is that we are adopting.  Yet I am having trouble committing to anyone just yet.  It seems like such a huge decision.  And again, what if we commit to a child (and bite the bullet on the 3,000 agency fee along with the 2,500 home study fee) and we fail to pass our home study?  Or what if we commit to a child, pass the home study and then realize, wait we don't have another 20,000!!!

I know a lot of this sounds like fear AND I know that the only way to get through this is to finish the home study and just find out.  AND that if the Lord allows us to pass the home study $20,000 isn't much to him But that doesn't seem to keep my questioning mind at bay.

I think the one thing the silent woman struggling with infertility or who fears a miscarriage is missing is the support and prayers you receive when you tell people. So here I am saying we are in the "trying to get pregnant" stage of our adoption.  If you would care to pray for that....please do.