So I haven't written since we have been back. I had someone tell me the other day that they were waiting for an update and I never wrote one. Sorry about that. I think that I had seen my blogging as more of people following Grace's story in Bulgaria and less of people following the story of me. :)
After we got home we donated the rest of the money that was given to us to a fund to pay for nurses to come to Pleven. (2,352.29 ish). Grace also started a prayer walk for Sam. You can read about it on her blog and then participate if you would like. I found out through my participation that my work really isn't very far from my house. (i walked round trip twice and it was only 3.5 miles...after that I started to ride :)) If I really want to help Grace rack up the walking miles and I am going to have to do more than walk to and from work!
My days have been filled with my family and normal life activities but also with tons of research about orphans and adoption. I have really been wearing myself out. I find that I wish I could save all orphans, but I know that I can't. I dream about adopting but then I start to ask these questions.....who should I adopt? what age should they be? should they be local or international:? should they be Russian or Bulgarian? Should they be older or younger? Could my choice in this screw up my family? how would we fund an international adoption? Should we start this process now? Why am I doing this? am I trying to fill a need or are we supposed to do this?
I try to calm myself by researching all the possibilities but to be honest then I get a little overwhelmed. I have told myself time and time again to stop "shopping for kids". Yet today I spent an hour reading through local foster children's profiles picking out ones that would fit into our home. :( The book I have been reading has helped me to realize that Jon and I could be really great parents to a kid with some after effects of abandonment and institutionalization. Jon has told me for years that we would be good at it. But I wanted to hear that from some "experts". I am not saying it would be easy but I am saying with some research, parenting tips and patients I think we as people could be well equipped. Perhaps God has prepared us for this?
I want to start my own blog all about this journey I am on but I am also afraid to do that. What if we don't do this? What if we fail our homestudy? What if my family tells me I am crazy? However in many ways it seems weird to me that I am so silent about what is going on in my head. I read blog after blog of people who are raising awareness about adoption, about Reece's rainbow and about Pleven. Couldn't I be doing this too?
So if anyone is out there monitoring my blog silence...keep your eyes posted for a new blog...once I commit to a name. (this too has delayed me)
"What if we don't do this?"
ReplyDeleteGod will still love you. Not everyone is called to adopt, but there are other ways to care for the poor, the needy, the orphans. Prayer is always needed. Trevor and I, picked one child from Reece's rainbow, we're praying diligently for that child and we started a jar that we put any spare change and $5 a week into, at the end of the month, we'll donate what we have to that child's adoption fund on Reece's Rainbow. There are ways to still help :)
"What if we fail our homestudy?"
I think that would be God's timing, saying "not yet" don't look at it as a failure, but as God leading your family. You could also do foster care, there are 1500+ kids in Lincoln alone in the foster care system.
"What if my family tells me I am crazy?"
Good! They should! People shouldn't think of you as normal for doing what God calls us to do! We're meant to stand out, in the Bible it says people will hate us for doing what He calls us to do, for living out our faith, for following Him!
My advice, Anna, is to pray about all of this!
Looking forward to the revealing of your new blog and I will lift you and John up in prayer as you consider adoption. :)
ReplyDelete